The Creative Process

"A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.” ― Thomas Mann

This episode I chat with Debbie L. London, Author & Speaker about her creative process and the power of transparency. You can learn more about Debbie on her website at www.debbiellondon.com. 

The featured song is "Free Your Dreams" by Snarky Puppy and Chantae Cann. 

The Game Plan

Quote:  All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” 

― Brian Tracy

Hey friends, the title of this episode is The Game Plan. I wonder do you have a game plan for achieving your goals or are you just being casual about your dreams? A month ago I was telling one of my good friends and fellow Boss Babes, Tamu of LuxPadInteriors, of my goals and how I was a little overwhelmed. SN- Get yourself some friends you can be real with.  We both shared our goals and then decided to sit down and create our game plans for the next 3 years. It was great we wrote down our goals, set dates over drinks and pizza. Writing everything down was exactly what I needed to stay focused with less anxiety. Here are some of the benefits of writing your ideas down:

• It gives you a record of your past. When you look back on the goals you accomplished from the past you will build your confidence. I always like to date my goals so I can reflect on how long it took me to complete it. 
• You gain a sense of achievement. Checking off tasks from my to-do list is so rewarding! You will feel a sense of pride when you see you finished the work you set out to accomplish. 
• It makes you more committed. When you see your goals written down with dates beside them you are reminded of the promises you made for yourself.  You don’t want let yourself down.  

We all deserve to make our dreams a reality, however, we have to put in the work to make that happen. First things first write down what you want to accomplish, set a deadline, tell a few close friends so they will hold you accountable to the goals you set for yourself. If you need help staying on task check out the application Wunderlist. The app will allow you to input your goals with the timelines helping you to stay on task. Thank me later. :)

Featured Song: Add To Me- Ledisi

Artist Need Love Too

Quote:  “Our souls speak a language that is beyond human understanding. A connection so rare the universe won't let us part.” 

― Nikki Rowe

Hey guys, I’m back  with another episode.  This past week we’ve been reminded how short life really is numerous times with the deaths of the celebrity handbag designer Kate Spade and everyone’s favorite world traveler, chef and author Anthony Bourdain. Unfortunately both of them committed suicide. It’s obvious our world is truly in crisis. I believe all of us creative go through low moments where we question what we are doing, if what we’re pursuing is worth it, is our work good enough, how will it be received. We can all relate. When  we question ourselves it just proves we are human and care about the work we are putting into the world. But what do we do when life starts to attack us, leaving us feeling hopeless? Yeah that part. I had someone ask me recently why I started Beauty & Soul. The reason is very simple, I wanted to provide support to artists, creatives and entrepreneurs like myself. I want to give people what I didn’t have at the time, genuine support. Sometimes while we’re busy creating I think we forget how important it is to support the local artists who may be your friends who is trying their best to make it. A little love and support has never hurt anyone. Truthfully knowing you have someone who is always in your corner, willing to support you may be life changing for some. I can’t help to wonder if Kate or Anthony had anyone close to them they were comfortable enough to show to their fears to. Maybe they would have consider living instead of death. 

True connection is priceless in my eyes. In fact having a connection with someone who can relate to your creative journey is amazing! You might be surprised how many people are willing to help you, I know I was. So how do we meet these new artsy friends? 

• Research local events and go, enjoy yourself. Mingle talk to the people around you and let them know who you are. It’s very easy these days to swap IG accounts and stay connected. 
• Join Meet up groups in your area for people who have similar interest as you. I have meet some pretty amazing people from my open mic and brunch events. 
• Don’t be afraid to put your art out for the world to experience. I believe the more we put out the more that will be returned to us. Sometimes you can build a relationship with your next musical inspiration and not even know it. 

At the end of the day this creative journey is not for the faint of heart. It definitely gets real out here but life is more manageable when you have support encouraging you. 

Featured Song: Quantrelle - Wrong Places

Date Night

Quote:  “When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.” 

― Jodi Picoult

Hi friends the title of this episode is Date Night, let’s jump right into it. Before I begin I have a disclaimer. I enjoy my wonderful podcast platform but I do limit what I share on here regarding my personal life. I was given permission to discuss my date with you guys by the gentleman who inspired this. When he found out about the Beauty & Soul Podcast he suggested I do an episode so here it is.

So friends,  yes I went on a date this past weekend but it wasn’t a regular date. It was a blind date …kinda… yeah I know. Initially, I wasn’t nervous at all. Lately my fearlessness has been on another level.  I have been slaying goals without hesitation. I wasn’t hesitant to go out until he started getting closer to pick me up. Then I was like what did I just sign up to do??? Too late to cancel though.  Fast forward the date was definitely the best one I have been on. I will keep the details of our date between him and I. I’m glad I didn’t allow myself to back out because I was definitely about to. This unexpected situation caused me to think about how many other opportunities or relationships I may have missed out on by talking myself out of moving forward. Why do we get in our way? I believe unintentionally we may think less of ourselves then we should. Now this can stem from various reasons, we all have them, but ultimately we are in charge of what we believe about ourselves. I’m grateful for my date because I realized how much I have changed. I raised the standards for myself which in turn demands another level of respect of people. I remember going out with guys and having a horrible time but not speaking up. Somewhere in the past I lost myself and thought it was okay to accept whatever was offered to me not realizing I could get 20x better. But I know you’re wondering how did I get here:

• I stopped playing games with myself. Sometimes we aren’t getting what we want because there are broken pieces within ourselves we need to fix. Until you get real about the harsh realities of your mess you will never experience bliss. Not in your life, love nor business. It’s okay to be lost… when you find yourself you’ll love and appreciate yourself even more. Besides it’s hard to fully love someone if you aren’t in love with yourself. 

Featured Song: February 3rd by Jorja Smith

Shoot Your Shot

Quote:  "Decide what you want, and then act as if it were impossible to fail." ―Brian Tracy

Hey guys, I hope you had a wonderful week. I myself had a very eventful week which lead me to this week’s podcast episode "Shoot Your Shot." Yes, if you see an opportunity that could help you develop, you absolutely should take it. This can also apply to our personal lives as well. If there’s someone you’re interested in dating, why not purse them?  If it works out great, if it doesn’t great. The point is not to wait for windows to open for you. If you find yourself waiting then it’s time to wake up. No one is coming to save us, we must create opportunities for ourselves. I know not everyone is as strong- willed as myself , truthfully this was a personality trait I developed overtime. Here’s a few tips to help you:

-Remind yourself of your vision. When you do this it is easier to push past your fears and take risks that could help you create the life you want. 

-Be open to new resources.  Sometimes there may be opportunity in situations that are unfamiliar. Pay attention.

Featured Song: Love Me Right- Amber Mark

Mirror, Mirror

Quote:  “The test we must set for ourselves is not to march alone but to march in such a way that others will wish to join us.”

― Hubert Humphrey

Hey family, I couldn’t wait to record this episode for you this week. I have to share a major hurdle I overcame this week. I know it will inspire someone. If you know anything about me you should know I love to sing. Music has been my passion since I was a little girl. Honestly I don’t know what age I fell in love but I do know I started training at 5 years-old thanks to my mom. She helped me get my first voice lesson. Wow… I just had a reflective moment. Fast forward somewhere down the line my parents forgot about my talent. Probably because I did, that was another reflective moment. Anyway I had this big debate with my mom this week about my music career. She was supportive kinda, I finally stood up for myself and let her know my decision was finale and I was no longer compromising my happiness. WOW major!!!! Surprising she took it well and told me she was proud of me and if she could would do the same thing. The moral of this story, don’t allow anyone to create their version of your life for you. If you aren’t doing what makes you happy then you are portraying yourself which in turn will affect you later in life. I know, I’m speaking from personal experience. So how did I finally develop the will power, here’s how:

• I turn the volume down on everyone around me. It’s so easy to start living for other people when you give everyone the option to speak on your life. I did that for years which I later realized was a huge mistake. 
• I looked in the mirror. I took time to notice when I felt the happiest. Who was I around, where did I live , what was I doing? You can learn a lot about yourself in your stillness.
• I accepted that it was time. Super harder than you may realize. I acknowledge I was finally on target and accepted it was time for me to go after my purpose relentlessly. 

Can I tell you something? It takes a while to get to this moment but as soon as you decide to do what you were created to do everything will fall in line at it’s proper time. Trust me I’m living through it now. 

Featured Song: Superman by Eric Roberson feat. Glen Lewis

A Mother's Love- Redefined

Quote:  “But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins.” 

― Mitch Albom

Featured Song:  Rolling Hills- Jill Scott

Hey friends, today I’m talking to the fabulous hardworking moms slaying their goals while dropping their babies off at school every day. This episode is for the silent hustlers who are building generational wealth for their families. I know somedays it can get had putting the kids to bed and then getting to work on your business but I want to encourage you to keep going. I want to redefine a Mother’s Love for us. I don’t know if you’ve experienced it yet or not but Mommy Guilt is a thing. We feel shame for putting our happiness ahead of our children or partners. We feel guilt for going after our dreams. Mommy guilt held me back for a very long time until I realized how short life really is. My life could be taken from me at any time and I would hate to miss the opportunity to show my daughters what hard work and passion can accomplish. Unfortunately society would like us to think as women we are not able to have a successful career and a happy family. Sure it may take dedication and some sacrifice but I do believe it is possible to be in love with your personal and professional life. As mothers shouldn’t we show our daughters how to be independent, resilient, caring and intelligent women? The best way to teach is through example. Let discuss how us ladies can love ourselves a little better for our children:

• Don’t neglect your self care. If you feel better after you get a massage then work consistent massages into your budget and schedule. If journaling helps you process your thoughts then get to writing girl. The point I’m trying to make is do not cut back on whatever it is you need to do to restore yourself. Do what needs to be done. 
• Let your children experience your journey whatever that is for you. Yesterday while I was walking down 8th Ave I saw Tina Fey and her daughter holding hands smiling. In my mind I was thinking, “ Aww how cute I wonder where they’re going.” Then I noticed her turn and walk into the August Wilson Theatre and I couldn’t help but smile.  Ms. Tina was letting her daughter experience what it’s like to be a playwright for a Broadway show. A Mother’s Love should include exposure to the world. We have to show our children they can be any and everyone they desire to be after all It’s a whole world out here.  
• Incorporate positive affirmations into your daily practice. I start every morning telling myself “ You deserve to make your dreams come true.” Affirmations serve as a positive reminder to stay focused. Also introduce affirmations to your children to help them manage their stress. 

Moms our value can not be measured and should be acknowledged everyday. I hope today I reminded you the best way to show love to your children is by loving yourself first. I hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day ladies. 

What's Your Emotional IQ?

"If you hang around people who act like you are not who you are then you will forget who you are." -Kanye West

Featured Song: In My Head-India.Arie

What a crazy week… omg I was mentally drained from everything going on in the media and life. Yikes! Let’s just get into it, I know you saw the Kanye West rant on TMZ that was blasted all over social media last week but I wonder did you have a chance to watch his interview with Charlamagne the God from the Breakfast Club as well. Some would argue that Kanye seemed like 2 different people or like a true Gemini lol. I would agree with them honestly. Those Gemini’s can be interesting people. Granted I didn’t agree with everything he said in his interview nor his rant but I wonder are we truly listening to him or judging before we process what he is saying.  

Then should we have attacked him so viciously for his free thinking? I think we shouldn’t. I think instead of responding negatively we should educate and empathize. It’s obvious Kanye is in search of some truth somewhere which leads me to believe he is lost. None of know the answers to everything so being lost is relatable. 

The situation caused me to want shed light on Emotional Intelligence. In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing the world to the concept of emotional intelligence. The idea a person can have the ability to understand and manage emotions, in turn, increases our chances of success. So I wonder if more people in the world had higher emotional IQ what the world would feel like?

Here’ s a few things us emotionally intelligent people do differently:

• We think about feelings. Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both ourselves and others.
• We pause. We think before we act. In the paused moment you are able to think about your situation from all perspectives.
• We demonstrate empathy. Instead of judging or labeling others, you work hard to see things through their eyes.
• We protect ourselves from those who emotionally sabotage. 

This week I challenge you to see how you can increase your emotional IQ. Not only will it benefit you but the people you encounter will feel the results.

Until next time.

After The Show

Quote:  "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
--Nelson Mandela

Featured Song: DaniLeigh - All I Know

Tonight we’re talking about what happens “After the Show”, as artists we’re expected to give our performances all we have but what happens to the artist that leaves everything on the stage? How do you pick up the pieces so you can hit the stage again? Sadly some of us have a hard time picking up the pieces. After talking to one of my friends about this issue I decided to do some research and learned post-performance depression is extremely common. 

-A recent study by charity Help Musicians UK found that over 60% of musicians have suffered from depression or other psychological issues, with touring an issue for 71% of respondents. 

I haven’t had the pleasure of being on tour just yet but I know after I perform or finish an event I am drained in every sense of the word. Emotionally and physically I am spent, I have found that I do not like talking to anyone and will require at least a day to adjust. 

Being a performer includes preparing for the show and doing the show but it can’t stop there. You must prepare to take care of yourself after the show also. Not taking time to take care of yourself mind, body & soul can turn catastrophic. Trust me I’m speaking from personal experience. I remember I was singing on stage one day after hosting a boot camp the day before. During the performance, I felt a little uneasy but I was not sure what was going so I pushed through (Listen do NOT do that) next thing I know I was being carried off the stage because I collapsed. The struggle was real! So take care of yourself before and after you give the audience what they want or you won’t have anything else to offer yourself. 

I think the physical limitations are understandable but what about the emotional and mental side?  How do you deal with the highs and lows of being an artist? I think this is truly the “B-side” some don’t care to discuss.  Being an artist is hard! Shifting from the lights, camera, action to your everyday life is challenging to most. Overcoming obstacles to get to the lights, camera, and action is challenging. The good point is we all experience some sort of obstacle but it’s important to remember to stay in the present moment. When you are performing stay in that moment. When you are done and enjoying your down time stay in the moment.

Until next time! 

#BlackGirlMagic

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.”

― Maya Angelou

Featured Song: Melanin Magic By Remy Ma feat. Chris Brown

This episode was inspired by Queen Bey yess my big sis Beyonce. OMG she slayed her performance at Coachella from beginning to end. I was so inspired. As an artist, I know how hard it is to prepare for a performance. You need to remember your lyrics, stay on pitch, remember to breathe and stay cute. Big Sis took all of us to school with her Coachella performance. She provided the perfect example of #BlackGirlMagic so I decided to call this episode Black Girl Magic. Let’s discuss why being a black woman is so important:

• We need to work twice as hard for our work to be noticed. We have to put in the work to be outstanding, not kinda good but outstanding. You never know who dream is connected to yours. 
• Now is our time to turn up. The world is finally noticing how amazing us black women are, it’s for you to launch whatever is you’ve been sitting on. Get the book done, slay that photoshoot, pursue that new career . I remember when I first started the Diva Sessions I couldn’t find stock photos of black women for my website now there are pictures of us everywhere… why you say? Because we are dope, strong, creative and the future. So turn up! 
• You can accomplish anything you put your mind to. Look at Beyonce she just pushed out twins, repaired her marriage wrote all about it in her album Lemonade and still found time to get re-snatched. We have no excuses!! We can accomplish anything and everything. Never let anyone tell you different. Once you find what you are truly passionate about there's no stopping you. 

Put Your Pride To The Side

Quote:  “The test we must set for ourselves is not to march alone but to march in such a way that others will wish to join us.”

― Hubert Humphrey

Featured Song: Lauren Sanderson - Written in the Stars (feat. PnB Rock

Tonight we’re talking about when it’s time to “Put Your Pride to the Side” this can apply to life, love and business. Pride can be defined as a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements. It’s easy to get caught up when you have experienced some sort of success .Having too much pride in a situation can negatively affect anyone. How many times have you over-spoke or did something you regretted but your pride wouldn’t let you speak up and apologize? Hmm we’ve all been there.  When is it time to check yourself and put your pride to the side:

• When you are holding yourself back from progressing. No one can make it out here in these streets alone… forever although some people try. It’s time to put your pride to side when you aren’t progressing this can apply to work, school or just life in general. 
• When you are new to an industry you have no idea about. I heard Devon Franklin say once he had to learn to how to carry a Crown before he could wear one.  If you are new to an industry you can’t expect to be on top of your game right away.
• When you are hurting emotionally. As the suicide rates sky rocket these days it’s time to put your pride aside if you just can get out of your emotional rut. 

You never know who can help you if you allow yourself to be helped. Sometimes it’s best to put your pride to the side and allow good things to happen for you.

To Date or Not Date

“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”  ― Criss Jami

Dating is tough. Is it really worth the hassle?

The featured song on the episode is "The Motive Used to Be the Melody" by Sango, Xavier Omar 

Girl, Can I Pick Your Brain?

"Being confident and believing in your own self-worth is necessary to achieving your potential."- Sheryl Sandberg Are you asking for help too soon?

The featured song on this episode is Put Your Records on by Corinne Bailey Rae.

Stress Management 101

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it."- Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Here are a few ways I learned to cope with my stress. I hope they help you on your journey.

This episode's featured song is "New Wave" feat. Mali Music

The Game of Love and Business

 

"Remind yourself nobody is built like you. You design yourself."- Jay-Z

You can create the love life you desire...

• Be Honest & Intentional
• Hold Out For The Great
• Your Relationship Can Make or Break Your Business

Mindfulness & Entrepreneurship

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”  ― Roy T. Bennett This episode we talk about the benefits of meditation for entrepreneurs.

The featured song is "Piano Song" by Eryn Allen Kane.

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number

This episode is for you if you think you are not where you should be in your career right now.

This episode's quote: “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”  ― Sophia Loren

Featured song is "Patience" by Ray BLK. More information on the artist can be found at http://rayblk.co.uk.

Less Really Is More

Let's talk about what it takes to go from the dreamer to the overachiever. Today's quote: "Dabbling is for mediocrity. Focus is for mastery."- Tim Denning

 Today's Featured song was by Amy Winehouse "Half Time"

It's Been A Minute

Today's quote: " The passionate committed mind can never be defeated." - Dr. Dennis Kimbro

This episode is for all of my creative friends, it's been a minute but we have so much to chat about.  Featured Song: Big K.R.I.T. - "Bury Me In Gold" can be purchased at bigkrit.com

The Game of Love and Business Pt.2

This episode is for the lovers.

While you are enjoying your Valentine's Day I hope you keep this quote in mind. " Your time, energy, and love is very valuable. Pursue relationships with people who know your worth."- Unknown